Every four years I look at who is running for president and I go “300 million Americans, and this is the best we can come up with?” Looking at the Republican candidates this year I found myself complaining that I wouldn’t hire any of them to deliver pizza. And then, I thought about that again … what if …
Rick Perry got into a road rage fight with someone who ‘dissed his cowboy hat.
Michelle Bachman claimed she couldn’t deliver the pizza because aliens had changed the roads so that she always kept turning to the right and a person she met along the way told her this was true.
Ron Paul came back two hours late because he’d gotten into a conversation with the customer about how pizza contains little sensors put there by the government to spy on us.
Mitt Romney showed up to work in a white shirt and narrow black tie with his 20 year old car immaculately clean. He explained that within a year he was would build a pizza delivery empire.
Newt Gingrich was fired for giving rides to women he picked up off the street.
Rick Santorum was caught doing an immoral act with a pizza.
Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, Gary Johnson – no one can remember if they worked here or not.
Sara Palin kept saying she would come for an interview but never did.
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